How to Prepare for BC Divorce Mediation

How to prepare for BC divorce mediation? You are not alone. Everyone asks these questions from us family lawyers.  Yet we don’t always think of telling our clients about how to prepare for mediation because we sometimes think clients already know what we know. Sorry human nature… same reason why we judge people…anyways, let me tell you some very valuable tips on your BC divorce mediation.

Family Mediation Lawyers – Who are they?

Family mediation lawyers are either senior lawyers or judges who conduct mediation and try to resolve your case by staying neutral or lawyers who assist you in the mediation process and advocate on your behalf. The family mediators are usually senior family lawyers or judges who know the law. Your mediation lawyer is someone who talks to the mediator and advocates your case on your behalf. The mediators and your family lawyer work together to resolve your case.

If you have started a family law action and you want to try mediation you may compel your ex to to try mediation by serving them with a Notice to Mediate.

Prepare for BC Divorce Mediation By Preparing Your Mediator

One of the best ways to get a good settlement at mediation is to get the mediator on your side. If you go to court, you want the judge on your side to get results. So why would you do anything less in mediation if you want a good settlement?

Mediators are just people. If they believe in your case, they will negotiate a good deal on your behalf with your spouse and will scare them into settlement more than they will scare you. If you are a good person and have a reasonable proposal, then the mediator will tell the other side about it and push them to settle and set you free.

So what do you do to prepare your mediator?

1. Find out what your mediator’s personality is like; 
2. Get your lawyer to prepare a mediation brief. This means your lawyers will write your position, facts and proposal on paper and provide the mediator with your story prior to mediation. This gives the mediator an image of you. It also tells them what you are looking for. So even before you walk into mediation, the mediator has started thinking of ways to make sure you get what you are looking for. Or what questions to ask you. And most importantly, how to negotiate with your spouse.
3. If you walk into the mediation with a prior brief and your spouse doesn’t, you have a better chance of winning at mediation than your spouse. No joke.

Prepare Yourself and Your BC Mediation Lawyer

If you have a BC mediation lawyer, then trust them and leave the negotiation to them.  If you don’t then contact us. Make sure your mediation lawyer knows everything you need to say about your case: 

1. Give your lawyer all the facts of your case as honestly and accurately as possible;
2. Tell your lawyer about your weaknesses and strengths;
3. Tell your lawyer about your ex’s weaknesses and strengths;
4. Give full and proper financial disclosure. Without it, bc divorce mediation will go nowhere trust me.
   In family matters, financial disclosure is paramount. Your financial statement offers a comprehensive snapshot of your financial position, including your income, expenses, assets, liabilities, and excluded or disposed property.
   If you have not commenced a family law action, it would be beneficial for both parties to put together an overview of their finances. This would include a list or chart outlining income, expenses, assets, liabilities, and excluded or disposed property.
5. Give your suggestions relating to the Mediation Brief to your lawyer;
   A mediation brief serves as a roadmap for the mediator, offering insight into each party’s perspective, concerns, and proposed solutions. While not mandatory, a well-prepared brief can streamline the mediation process by highlighting key issues and facilitating focused discussions.
6. Tell your lawyer what your priorities are and what your bottom line is when it comes to money or custody;
7. If you do not feel comfortable being in the same room as your ex, let your lawyer know;
8. Take breaks to think about proposals;
9. Do not feel rushed to accept proposals right there. You can always take time to think about things and get back to your lawyer or mediator;
10. If you reach an agreement, make sure it is drafted and signed on the spot. Don’t delay or your ex can backtrack on the agreement.

BC divorce mediation

What Happens in the Mediation Room?

Usually:

• In the morning, both you and your spouse are put in different rooms;
• The mediator will meet you and your spouse separately;
• He or she will ask you questions about you, your goals and whether you are worried about your safety or whether you are comfortable in the same room;
• He or she will tell you that mediation is confidential;
• He or she will tell you that you are not forced to agree to anything but will tell you about the advantages of an agreement;
• Then all parties usually come in the same room and give their positions to each other;
• Parties then go back to different rooms and the mediator will go back and forth to give offers or negotiate positions;
• Sometimes the BC mediation lawyers will meet individually without the clients to see if they can negotiate better and without acrimony;
• The process takes anywhere from 1 day to several days depending on the complexity of your case;
• If you reach an agreement, a good mediator will immediately draw it into a separation agreement or court order and will keep both of you until you sign the agreement.
• If all goes well, you are free to move into the next chapter of your life 🙂

In Family Law cases, the stakes are higher than in any other case. This is because your children’s lives and your future financial security are at stake. Therefore, never walk into BC divorce mediation without at least consulting a BC Mediation Lawyer to know about your specific rights. Contact our award-winning mediation lawyers for a consultation at 604-974-9529 or get in touch.