What Does a Divorce Lawyer Think of Marriage?

What a Divorce Lawyer thinks of marriage is the most common question I get, both personally and professionally. Personally, it usually happens with new guys I meet. “Oh, you are a divorce lawyer, eh? You must hate marriages don’t you?” Disappointment sets in. Here is another guy who thinks I am jaded. I am bitter. And I am certainly not relationship material because I have a job that is not common for girls. A job that means I am not the nurturing, soft, feminine type that doesn’t intimidate guys.

I am a person who is positive because I went through 17 years of post-secondary school and a career helping people who were just being human. People who believed in love. People who made mistakes just like the rest of us. But they got into a relationship accident. And now they need to get out and move on from the injury. I will help that injury at a cost because I have a business but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about the injury itself. It doesn’t mean I think they are stupid to have the injury. Or that they did anything wrong. It means I am a human helping other humans when they are deeply hurt and need direction to get out of the rut and move on to the next chapter of life.

Many people assume that I would be against marriage. They will be surprised to learn that I have become a believer in marriage because of being a divorce lawyer. So what does a Divorce Lawyer think of marriage?

A Divorce Lawyer Thinks of Marriage as being…

Unafraid

Committing to spend the rest of your life with someone means losing the fear of yourself. Of your weaknesses and insecurities. Believe in yourself and your partner making it together through life and considering yourself as a valuable partner. People get into marriage because they want to create something together. There is nothing wrong with that even if it ends up in divorce.

Open

Marriage means being open to change. Being open to sacrificing and working as a team. Change is constant. Everything changes every second. Being in a marriage means accepting change, challenging change and making change together. That is the most gratifying and difficult task for any human being. Adaptation is an instinct. Being open means accepting adaptation as difficult as it may be.

Challenging

Every day of a marriage is a challenge – the difference between a good and bad marriage is whether the challenge will make you grow or make you deplete. If the marriage makes you grow, it will be the best thing that ever happened to you. If the challenge makes you lose your energy and deplete constantly then, you need to find another challenge and get out of this one.

Loving

Doing anything for the right kind of love is never a bad thing. You believed in love which is what every human needs to do. When that love decided to leave you and your relationship, it was time to find new love. There is nothing wrong with that. That’s when you need to divorce the old love that no longer works, and find a new one that will make sense for you here and now.

A Divorce Lawyer Thinks Of Marriage as Magic.

Marriage is beautiful. I believe in it more than I did when I wasn’t a divorce lawyer. Do you know why? Because:

 Even in those moments when I hear the judge pronouncing divorce, there is a pause from everything. A stillness in everyone that loses all sense of time and space. All the fighting and problems fade. And there is this peace. A sad peace that just takes over the court room. And everyone goes silent and let’s themselves be vulnerable.  That is the most beautiful moment of divorce – silent tears of love. 

So what do I as a Divorce Lawyer think of marriage? I think marriage is love and I think marriage is good. And I can only hope to reach that level of love, trust and commitment to make sure I experience it too – even if it doesn’t last forever. And that’s fine with me.

Leena Yousefi is a top-rated Divorce Lawyer* located in Vancouver, BC. To contact her, email her at [email protected]. 

*Leena Yousef is rated as the number one family lawyer in British Columbia by Lawyerratings.com and as the top 3 best lawyers in Vancouver by the threebest.com.Also voted as the best Vancouver family law firm in Vancouver by Top Choice Awards.