Child and Parental Alienation – Family Law BC

Child custody or Care and Control of Children are some of my favourite cases. They can be the most gratifying or the most heart-wrenching but in every custody case, you will find love and life. I am lucky to deal with parents and children in my job.

Is your child being alienated by your ex-spouse?

One of the most alarming and perhaps under-acknowledged custody issues is child alienation. Although recently the courts have started to pay more attention to this issue, it is one of the most damaging aspects of childhood and can harm and destroy children.

In the 1970s, psychologists started to acknowledge and name a phenomenon they saw regularly in divorce cases. The issue was not given as much weight as it should have been given so a psychologist started to call it a syndrome under which children unreasonably sided with one parent to the exclusion or hatred of the other parent for no specific purpose or good reason.

Alienation in Older Children

Alienation is most commonly detected in children who are teenagers and clearly express opinions of the alienated parent and act as a ‘caregiver’ to alienating parent. The alienating parent usually asks the child to ‘choose’ between the two parents, clouds the child’s mind with negative thoughts and opinions about the other parent and sometimes even goes as far as brainwashing the child and threatening to abandon the child if the child decides to have a loving relationship with the alienated parent.

Alienation in Younger Children

More alarming are  BC cases of child alienation for younger children or children under 10 years old. In these cases, the alienating parent usually either abducts the child or alleges sexual abuse against the other parent. This is because younger children are not able to properly express opinions. They live in the moment and cannot copy or repeat what the alienating parent says continuously. Young children naturally love back those who love them. It is difficult for them to express hate if they really do not hate.

Therefore the alienating parent will allege sexual abuse of the child to ensure the other parent does not see the child, and at the same time brainwashes the child into thinking he or he was actually sexually abused. In other cases, the alienating parent just flees with the child to ensure the child’s parent does not get to find or see the child.

Parental alienation cases are extremely difficult, time-consuming and need the utmost strategy, care and expert advice on how to bring them to an end and save the child in a timely manner. Sometimes, if the case goes on for too long or the alienated parent does not take action soon, the court might actually find alienation and still let the child stay with the alienating parent because the change might negatively impact the child and make him/her hate the alienated parent even more. 

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Ronak Leena Yousefi is the founder of YLAW and takes a special interest in custody and parenting time cases in BC. Please note that the above content is not to be construed as providing legal advice.