5 Tips on Preparing your BC Child Custody Application

Can’t see your children all of a sudden that you are separated? Join the club BC Child Custody club, some say. Here are 5 tips that would help you ensure your children will get to have parenting time with you despite your ex doing everything he/she can to make sure they don’t:

1. Tell Your Story in a Detailed BC Child Custody Affidavit.

An Affidavit is a sworn statement of facts (NOT OPINIONS) that tells the judge the story of your marriage or relationship and issues you have encountered since separation. These issues need to primarily relate to issues surrounding your children and lack of access to them.

So for example, you can’t write an affidavit and call your spouse a ‘psycho, money-hungry person who abused me all my life’. That is not going to help your case. A better way of doing the affidavit would be, for example, to say, “My child’s favourite cereal is Cheerios, her favourite bedtime story is Wonder Woman and she attends the following out-of-school activities….On September 15, 2015, I emailed my ex and asked to see my daughter. She refused and did not provide an explanation why”.

The latter will show the judge that you are not just rendering an opinion. You are showing, through detailed memory and experience that you have been an involved and good parent and have had an active role in your child’s life; a role which is now being taken away by your ex-spouse in the BC Child Custody litigation.

2. Judges are Humans. Use pictures, especially in BC Child Custody. 

In a courtroom where people fight and complain day-in and day-out, it is an enjoyable relief for a judge to look at some kind, lovely and fun pictures of your and your children. The judge is just another human being. You need to visualize who your children are, how you are interacting with them and how much they were at ease while in your care. This can be shown through pictures and videos.

This is the biggest weapon we use in BC Child custody litigation to visualize for the judge that what the spouse is saying, i.e. you are dangerous and not a fit parent, is totally defeated by showing the love shown in pictures with you and your children.

3. Stop attacking one another. Judges Hate Hearing Them. 

A judge hearing about how badly you were treated during your relationship and is expected to be your hero is not going to work. Trust us. The judge wasn’t there when you decided to marry him/her and he/she can’t be expected to rescue you or get your revenge. Focus on your child and how much she/he needs you in his/her life, not your spouse and what happened in the past.

4. Back up your claims

Attach any texts, emails or other documents relating to your spouse acting controlling or unreasonably when it comes to seeing your children. Judges sometimes care more about the documents than what you actually say in your affidavits. So if your spouse once said, “you are a great dad” and later in the court proceedings said “you are a terrible dad”, her previous emails are a lethal weapon in showing she is not approaching custody in good faith.

5. General Doesn’t Work. Detail Does. 

Be as specific and detailed as your possibly can. So don’t say “he was mean to my kids many times”. Change that and say “On March 17, 2015, we were eating dinner. My daughter did not want to eat her food so he started yelling at her to the point that he made her cry and —-“. And follow with more examples that show dates and specifics of what happened. You need to be credible. Being general does not help with credibility.

BC Child Custody and Parenting time are extremely complicated family law issues that require the assistance and consultation of a BC Family Lawyer. Contact us at 604-974-9529 to set up a consultation regarding your unique case and know how to strategize your custody litigation.